One of the hardest things we have to face in life is the loss of loved ones. It can rip you to pieces and trigger so many emotions –
- Sadness (“I miss them”)
- Guilt (“did I do enough?”)
- Anger (“why did this happen to them?”)
Grief causes physical pain as well as emotional, and often we cease to be able to function, in a state of absolute shock and limbo. Insomnia often takes hold as well, again, using NLP techniques I can soon get this pattern reversed. A good night’s sleep make so much of a difference when we have tough times to deal with.
How can Neuro Linguistic Programming help with grief?
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) techniques are incredibly effective and combined with Hypnotherapy they can turn things around for you. I have worked with many people who have been bereaved. The loss of a dear pet, a parent, child or best friend is heart-wrenching, so let me help you get through this dark time and focus on the happy memories. That should, after all, be the predominant memories of your loved one.
One man came to me feeling absolutely tortured. He had lost a very dear friend to cancer, and towards the end visited him and saw him so ill and weak, and that image is what stayed at the forefront of his mind. Inside, my client was in pain, but on the outside he was angry, and other loved ones were walking on eggshells.
Using various NLP techniques we worked together, overcoming the overriding image. I taught him ways to focus on the happy times, before his friend became ill, so that now he thinks of his friend and smiles, instead of being overwhelmed with sadness and then anger. We also used Hypnotherapy, and within a very short while my client was sleeping peacefully again, which in turn gave him the strength to face each day with positivity again.
Using resource anchors for overcoming grief
One invaluable NLP technique is a ‘resource anchor’, and one young lady in particular excelled with these. She lost her Mum when she was a very young woman, that time when we all ask our Mums for so much advice, when we need their knowledge and wisdom.
She was bereft and at breaking point, it was in fact someone close to her that first got in touch with me, as she was in such a bad way they were becoming afraid for her. Initially I spoke with my client over video link, then I travelled to her for home visits to increase her confidence as she was bordering on agoraphobic, due to her grief. So when, a couple of times, I persuaded her to go the her local beach with me I was over the moon. Both were places where she felt most at ease, as this is vital when working with the NLP techniques.
The resource anchors that we set are at her disposal whenever she needs them, bringing her mind instantly back to happy times, and lifting her back to a more positive state of mind. Recently she shared this with me, a piece of writing that she put together and posted on the Cancer Research website. I am not going to lie, it made my eyes leak – with happy tears though! I am so proud of this young lady, she has worked incredibly hard, and the story is hers to be told.
Ferny’s story
“I’d like to share something that has affected my life over the last two years. I’m very proud of myself, my progress, thanks to an amazing lady (Emma at Natural Life Progressions), who I had NLP and Hypnotherapy from, who helped me last year and thanks to myself too, I am now happy to say I am in the final stage of the grieving process, I am now in the acceptance stage, it has taken me a long while to get to this stage but I thank the people who have been there for me since day one, they have been amazing. I just like to say grief can affect people in different ways emotionally and physically. Emotionally you feel shit, you lose hope, a very intense numb feeling in your stomach, however it turns out no matter how crap you’re feeling, it’s only temporary I promise you it will get better.
My best friend and mother passed away April 29th 2020, the delayed grief came last year. I worked with Emma and began using her NLP techniques and ‘anchors’, I now feel like my old self again, I also feel more at peace within myself. I saw a white dove a week ago, I believe this was telling me my mother is in peace this has made me feel a lot better. My delayed grief properly kicked in a year after my best friend / my mum passed away, originally then I must have just been in the shock stage unconsciously as I was still being active. Of course I cried and was very sad when she died. Grief can affect people in many ways. My anxiety was really bad. I lost my taste for a bit. I comfort ate on chocolate a lot. I didn’t want to eat for a long while. I wasn’t interested in things or hobbies that I used to enjoy. My memory was badly affected. I could hardly function, my brain thinking was blank.
I was being sick a lot from my anxiety. A bit of loss of balance. Really bad depression for a long while. It felt like a load of bricks were on me. The shittest feeling basically. Yes, when I was suffering very badly I was feeling very numb in myself, it was hard for me to believe my mum wasn’t coming back – so very difficult to think that. Been through this stage a very hard stage.
Anger – Very cruel and unfair, why did she have to die? Why did she have to have bloody cancer in the first place. Why her? Depression – I suffered badly with this stage for a long while , very intense pain, came in waves too. Acceptance – Finally! Being in this stage is amazing. This has taken me quite a long while to get to this stage, but I’m here now thank goodness. My intense pain is gone, my anxiety has lifted, I’m so happy within myself again, to be myself again, my old self!
A massive weight has lifted inside of me. I’ve finally accepted what’s happened . I’ve learnt to live again, while keeping the very happy memories. I will never forget my mum. She is still living in me and so she will when I have children, I will keep her memory living and so will my kids. You don’t believe at the time, when you are suffering badly, that you’ll be fine in the end, I promise you will be, it just takes as long as it needs to.
Your loved ones won’t want you being sad all the time and depressed. I can now move on with my life, enjoy it with my amazing loving fiancé , family and friends. Still remembering my mum. All I can say is talk to your partner, family friends and professionals, I have had amazing support from my fiancé family and friends, I also had NLP and Hypnotherapy from an amazing lovely lady last year, she travelled to me at my home, and she gave me the tools to deal with the pain. Also I am a strong person, as well as the NLP techniques I got through this myself, we worked together, so I got there from both.
I woke up one day feeling different, the difference was, I was in the final stage of my grieving; the acceptance stage, not feeling the tenseness I was feeling every day. Not anxious, and feeling my old self again and taking interest again in hobbies I used to love. Feeling I can live a great life again, I won’t forget my mum! I know she would be extremely proud.
I have met an amazing man and his family are so lovely, she would be so pleased I’ll be living my life again and being me again. I’d like to one day help people who’ are badly suffering like I was, maybe set up once a week for an hour – a chat group in person near where I live for people who need the help, who need to talk. I like to help them to talk, to finally also get them to the acceptance stage like me. I cannot tell you the amazing feeling, how it feels so feel so released from it all.” Ferny
Get in touch for help dealing with grief
So, if you are battling with grief, get in touch, let me help you to reach a better place, we will work together using NLP techniques and/or Hypnotherapy. There is a way through this, you will soon be laughing and smiling at happy memories of the good times, rather than suffocating in the weight of grief.